Life is not fair

Well, actually the title is not strictly accurate. It should be something like ‘hair five years ago, gone today’, but that just doesn’t scan.

Yes, my hair has started falling out from the radiation. It’s not coming out in great chunks like it does in the movies; it’s more like a slow continuous fall of individual hairs. Whenever I scratch my scalp (which feels itchy from the radiation), a few hairs come away under my nails or attached to my fingers. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, they warned me it might take some time for the effects to build up. And they are now building up. Or have built up. Or something.

I now have a good idea of what morning sickness must be like. Every morning for the past three days, I’ve ended up praying to the porcelain god in the bathroom. Nausea builds up slowly, then suddenly I have to *run* for the bathroom. It’s not painful spasming, like you get with food poisoning, just a sudden and violent need to empty my stomach. And when it’s finished, I feel fine, no bending over for ten minutes cursing the universe as my abs go into spasmic fury. Certain smells make it worse, as does people talking to me.

As well as the nausea, I’m feeling absolutely exhausted. I’m sleeping well enough, but when I wake up, I find myself looking forward to when I can go back to bed again. And you know that’s got to be a bad sign. It hasn’t got to the stage of somnolence and microsleeps yet, but it’s heading that way. What’s nice about this is that I finally have a medical reason why I MUST have a lie-in. Awwwwright!

A little late posting this, but there you go. The last day went smoothly enough, aside from a couple of minor panic attacks on the tube, when I had to squeeze past crowds on the platforms, and I had sudden horrible visions of stumbling over my own feet and toppling onto the rails. Very tired, though: feeling as though my head was crammed full of cotton wool. Some nausea as well when leaving, which wasn’t helped by the train ride . . . but I ate a Bacon Double Cheeseburger at Euston, and that seemed to sort my belly right out. Hurrah for Burger King!

The radiologist warned me that the immediate sided effects would last for perhaps another two weeks, and could intensify over the weekend. And so it happened: Read the rest of this entry »

Missed posting yesterday when I came back, so I’m typing this in the ungodly hours of the morning (before 7 a.m.). This is going to be short, as I’m going to post a round up and my thoughts on the whole thing when I come back this afternoon.

Not much to report from day four, other than the appearance of one of the side effects I was warned about. A couple of hours after I got back, my mouth started salivating, thehn muscle spasms started in my belly. I managed to avoid vomiting, but it was a close run thing. This morning, the same thing, only a little worse. Nausea first, then muscle spasms, then standing in the bathroom trying not to puke while my stomach knotted itself into painful knots. Nasty headache as well.

Good thing it’s the last session today. Only one more trip in.

Later session today: 12.50. It meant the trains were much emptier on the way up, and as the weather wasn’t quite as blastingly hot as yesterday, the trip was a lot easier. The session unfortunately ended up being delayed for some time–apparently the machine had worked itself out of alignment in the morning (hopefully not during the middle of some unfortunate’s session), and had to be re-calibrated. Not a lengthy job, but one that had knock-on effects throughout the day.

Also, the mask was much tighter today–I’m certain it wasn’t just feeling that way. Previously, I’ve been able to open my eyes; today, I could only open them a crack, and the mesh was pressing hard on the skin of my face. So . . .either the mask is shrinking, or my head is growing. (Of course, that’s a distinct possibility; we’ve all see those 1950′s B-movies where radiation makes things swell up, right? (And you can stop that sniggering at the back RIGHT NOW!) Read the rest of this entry »

11.30 treatment today. The treatment itself was faster (seemingly) than last time, although the mask felt tighter. Still no side effects from the treatment, but I’m certainly experiencing side effects from flogging up on the bloody train every day. I’m wondering now if I’d even notice the tiredness from the radiation after five days of fighting through July rush hour trains and the underground. Read the rest of this entry »

I started my course of whole brain radiation today. The appointment was for 9.40, and I was a little worried about being scrunched in the train during the rush hour getting in, but as it turned out, the trains were all half empty–it must have been the weather. Seems like a lot of people have decided to take a sicky today. Bit of luck for me and Fon.

Arrived outside the Royal Marsden at 8.40 after less than an hour travelling, which is good, considering the normal duration is about 1.30. Had a tremendous coffee and pain-au-chocolat in Cinq (a cafe just opposite the main entrance to the Marsden, on the Fulham Road. I recommend their steak sandwiches unreservedly), then went into the radiation basement. (Thick doors, yellow warning signs, very obviously sick people. Bad coffee. Cheerful, smiling, empathetic nurses. It’s an odd place.) Read the rest of this entry »